One thing I admire about my generation is that a lot of us seem motivated to heal our traumas and break the cycles that have plagued our bloodlines for generations. This self-awareness is really important, and there's something really beautiful about being in your "healing era." We all have traumas stored in our brains and bodies that affect us every single day (consciously or unconsciously) and it is up to us to patch up these wounds. To me, being in my healing era means going to therapy, journaling, and doing a lot of reading. So today I wanted to share my emotional healing bookshelf with y'all! I have only finished one of these books so far but I am working on the rest as we speak.
The Body Keeps The Score By Bessel Van Der Kolk
I featured a quote from this book in my post for PTSD awareness month, but I haven’t finished the book since then. It’s honestly a lot to take in as a trauma survivor, but The Body Keeps The Score has taught me so much about how trauma affects us beyond our emotions. My therapist is an avid fan of this book and I know it is generally pretty popular in the mental health community. Van Der Kolk has really helped change the narrative around PTSD with this book and I am so thankful for his impact. Trauma affects us all in some way so we can all learn from his teachings.
The Four Agreements By Don Miguel Ruiz
I read The Four Agreements about two years ago now and I still think about it every day. It's short and sweet at only 160 pages, but there is so much strength in its simplicity. I have always been very caught up in what other people thought of me, but this book really helped shift my mindset a bit. I still struggle with this from time to time, but these days I feel much less affected by the opinions of others. Each agreement helps you put life into perspective and realize that you have been living with a self-limiting mindset. We were all born as free individuals but as we grow older, we become limited as we begin to live for others rather than ourselves. Learning to live for yourself is one of the most crucial steps in finding happiness.
The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (And Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did) By Philippa Perry
This sounds like a parenting book and it kind of is, but it is more about the generational cycles that present themselves in our families and how we can change the narrative. We all learn from the way we are parented and decide what we want to carry on with our own children, but if violence is normalized in our household growing up and no one teaches us that it's wrong, what is stopping us from subjecting our children to the same? I don't plan on having children anytime soon, but when the time comes I want to make sure that I am knowledgeable in the psychology behind parenting and childhood development. There are far too many traumatized children in this world and so much of their hurting would be minimized if adults would simply work on themselves for the sake of their kids. Breaking harmful cycles within our families is one of the best things we can do for ourselves and our children, but in order to do that we must reflect without bias. In most cases, our parents did their best, and they used what they learned in their own childhoods (this does not excuse abuse or neglect in any way). You can absolutely love your parents and disagree with their parenting choices, and it is up to you to decide how you want to raise your own kids when the time comes. Your children deserve the best you can give them, and you can start preparing for that now by healing yourself.
No Bad Parts By Richard Schwartz
This book focuses on the 'Inner Family System" which is a model that paints the mind as consisting of multiple subpersonalities. Other than your core self, you also house parts referred to as managers, exiles, and firefighters. Each subpersonality works to protect you in some way, and they are all interconnected, constantly in conversation with one another. Think about it like your conflicting thoughts or the "devil and angel on your shoulders." We often come to fear or feel ashamed of these subpersonalities, as we do not understand them, but it is only once we come to terms with them that we can be fully in control. Even the most negative inner critic could become your biggest cheerleader if you learn how to manage your subpersonalities, and this book will help you work up to that.
What Happened To You? By Oprah Winfrey & Dr. Bruce Perry
I picked this one up for the first time this week and I really love the authors' perspectives on how trauma affects us mentally and physically. It reads as a deep conversation between Oprah and Dr. Perry in which they share personal stories, excerpts from interviews, and scientific insight to support their model of trauma-informed care. They emphasize the question "what happened to you?" rather than "what is wrong with you?," which brings so much empathy into their approach. It is long at nearly 800 pages, but so far it has been such an easy and informative read. The format is refreshing and it feels personal, almost as if you are in the middle of conversing with Oprah and Dr. Perry. I really look forward to finishing this book and I can't wait to see what I learn from it. It has truly been eye-opening already.
So if you're in your healing era, good luck! You've got this! It's not all easy or beautiful, but the end results will be so worth it.
And if you're not quite there yet, I believe in you too. Your future holds so much more than you know.
Until next time ♡
Comments